great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
