I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
