bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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