): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
