Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
