So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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