yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All the doctor said was why
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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