This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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