i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
