the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just found puke in my bra..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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