After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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