My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Randomize
