Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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