You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
