I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
