Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
