well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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