Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
