She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
