you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
