used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
