Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it glows. i had to have it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
