I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Randomize
