I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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