What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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