one might say we're banned from that church
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
