And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
