thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
tell me about the eggs
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
