My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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