Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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