Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Please, let me fuck your mom
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
