It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
