If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
