What a fucking waste of an outfit
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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