Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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