Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
