There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
