I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
