It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
