Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
