Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
