I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So vagazzling was a success
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