Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
