you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize