that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My ATM looks so different sober.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
