there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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