he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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