it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I did not marry a roomba.
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