covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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