you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
