he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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