I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
